therapy for writing for therapy

Yesterday I had lunch with a friend and her husband, both of whom, like me, are working on their dissertations. It wasn't long before our conversation turned to writing--what were we working on? how was it coming? do we like our current work/chapter/section? etc., etc.

As is perhaps obvious, I'm a bit of a nerd about writing. I love thinking about it, reading about it, talking about it, writing about it. So at one point in the conversation I apologized for what I thought might be over-enthusiasm on my part. (Not everyone likes to talk about their own work as much as I like asking.) And my friend's husband replied, "Are you kidding? It feels good to actually talk about it. It's not like any of us has a healthy relationship with our writing!"

I almost fell out of my chair laughing. It's so true!!

The next thing he said was true as well: "And there's no one else we can talk to about it. It's not like my mom understands or anything."

But that part didn't make me laugh as much.

I know that some would argue that writing is easy, that it's just a matter of sitting down and doing it. I'm not sure I agree with that assessment.

While I wouldn't go so far to say that writing (as work, as a job) is any harder than any other job, I do think there's a measure of self-motivation that must be taken into consideration. I don't have a "boss" looking over my shoulder, and no one is directly depending on me for one or another pages of work. That is to say, no one needs me to finish writing a section of my dissertation before he can finish his work. An architect must finish her drawings because the electrical engineer needs them, as does the structural engineer, the client, etc. But no one but me needs page 5 to be completed. Some days I could use a little pressure...

There's also a measure of self-doubt that factors into writing. And a measure of shame (when the writing is not forthcoming, or when it's bad, etc.) But I'll save that for another day...

I know that everyone in my life supports my work, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they understand the struggle. To be fair, I'm not sure I always understand their work or the efforts it entails, either.

Ironically, the same man who penned the "writer's, quit complaining" article linked above used to have a column entitled "Mr. Blue" wherein he gave advice to other struggling writers. I guess that's as close to therapy as we get...

Unless we write about it to get it out.